Samurai Swordsman Gifts

Boss, I need to go home, I have an awful toothache. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. It's like someone's stabbing me in the face with a Samurai sword. Oh, that's not that bad. Let me know when it feels more like a Ninja sword. I'm not sure there's a difference. Apparently you can focus just fine.

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

Epic Battles

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

How Swordfish Are Born

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Decapitated coffee.

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

"It was a little preachy."

'After A Knights Hard Day'

Pub Kendo.

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Sawrd Fighting

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

I'm not fighting you until you show me your mask.

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

Scheduel.

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

Fencing Lessons

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

Battle.

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

'Razed any good cities lately?'

'Now I suppose, we owe them one.'

Samurai - Accountant.

"They said you'd be challenging."