Samurai Gifts

"Plan B is to commit ritual suicide."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

Decapitated coffee.

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

"It was a little preachy."

Hari Karaoki

Samurai - Accountant.

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

The 24/7 Samurai

"We're always ready to travel at a moment's notice."

'On the bill of lading it says 'humbly assembled household robots without intention to cause injury on export market'.'

News Samurai

'Today is the day that 'Black Bean Couscous' kicks 'Classic Macaroni Salad' butt.'

"No, 'tofu' isn't short for 'toe fungus'!"

'Oh no, it's a shogun wedding!'

Boss, I need to go home, I have an awful toothache. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. It's like someone's stabbing me in the face with a Samurai sword. Oh, that's not that bad. Let me know when it feels more like a Ninja sword. I'm not sure there's a difference. Apparently you can focus just fine.

They often made fun of Shinjo and his Samurai spoons, but not for long.

The pen is mightier than the sword

"I didn't know my eyebrows looked like that."

"Typical !, You wait here ages for a samuri and then seven come all at once."

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'

Air Vent

Shed pounds fast the Japanese way, without any dieting or exercise! (Caution: May cause shortness)

Shopping List

'Bad news, Cobley, your salary's been dumbed down.'

Operating Instructions: 1) Grasp railing firmly with left hand. 2) Place right foot on nearest step. (directions for climbing stairs)

101 uses of a dead cat: samurai armour.