Sword-in-the-stone Aficionados Gifts

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Late BroomStick

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

Decapitated coffee.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

Doves of peace trapped within the statue of liberty.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Pub Kendo.

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

Sawrd Fighting

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

Dog Statue

"Oh, Genie. I'm ready to make my final wish now."

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Swords for Making America Great Again

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

Scheduel.

Fencing Lessons

'Dinner will be late... it rained and we had a power outage.'

Battle.

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

Three witches standing around a carafe in a coffee machine, waiting for it to fill