Sword Fight Fan Gifts

Epic Battles

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Hi-yah!"

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

Karataoke

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

The Karate Kitten.

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Pub Kendo.

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!

'After A Knights Hard Day'

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

Sawrd Fighting

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'