Competitive Swordplay Enthusiast Gifts

'Upper management still relies on resumes...boring!'

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Epic Battles

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Decapitated coffee.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Pub Kendo.

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'After A Knights Hard Day'

Sawrd Fighting

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Scheduel.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Swords for Making America Great Again

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

I'm not fighting you until you show me your mask.

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

Fencing Lessons