Switchboard Surfers Gifts

"I did not listen carefully, and, yes, the menu options had changed..."

Turtle Hat

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

'Another nice wave.'

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

La Jolla School of Advanced Music Graduate Frank Kettleknyper played a mello cello.

Life Extension Journal.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

I can be upgraded, can you?

'I'll teach that social security computer a few things!'

'I forgot to tell you Neddy's not 'broken-in' yet...!'

"At least it's not as busy as last night!"

Fashion Magazine: In/Out/Back In.

Moving Van.

Line for a funnel cake stand.

So I take it you'd rather I didn't go on another surfing weekend...

"Excuse me....water!!"

"They are making sandboxes more and more realistic these days."

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

'We didn't mean to place an order online. We're just trying to figure out how to turn it on.'

If you see something, buy something.

A shark ventriloquist.

Mobility Park.

"This option in the pension is a little tricky. You can start collecting benefits when you're 58 years old, as long as you look 58 years old."

"For the last time, we don't have a shuffleboard court."

"Surfers are thrill seekers son, so we just gave them an extra thrill: they'll be talking about their encounter with us for years..."

The Underground Police

"Morrison, Robertson, Hitchcock, Brusiloff, Leggett, Winthrop, and ... Oh, hello Muriel."

'Yes, this is my shortboard: Why?'

'Thank you for holding - your call is important to us.'

"What's a good board for someone who gets out in the water once a year but talks about surfing incessantly?"