Surfboard Swiper Gifts

Turtle Hat

Beach con-man.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

La Jolla School of Advanced Music Graduate Frank Kettleknyper played a mello cello.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Yo mate, your board's up-side-down.

"At least it's not as busy as last night!"

Moving Van.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

So I take it you'd rather I didn't go on another surfing weekend...

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

'I never know whether I should get good gloves that I'll lose after three runs, or cheap gloves that'll fall apart after five runs.'

Amateurs de vin...

'All day and not one wave...can life possibly get any worse?'

If you see something, buy something.

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

A shark ventriloquist.

We're looking for a few greedy people.

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu.

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe the simplest modes of travel are the best.

"Surfers are thrill seekers son, so we just gave them an extra thrill: they'll be talking about their encounter with us for years..."

'Yes, this is my shortboard: Why?'

"I did not listen carefully, and, yes, the menu options had changed..."

A woman glides down a water slide

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

The Underground Police

Inner City Surf Bums.

Wind Surfing

The end is rear!

"I told you it was too soon to ride the subway."

A blue collar cow.

"Now imagine how good that would look completely sweated through on the twenty-third street subway platform."

"How was my internet date? Put it this way, I went online hoping for broadband; I got dial-up."