Surfboard Swiper Pillows

Turtle Hat

Beach con-man.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Woah, This was well worth swapping my flying saucer for!

La Jolla School of Advanced Music Graduate Frank Kettleknyper played a mello cello.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Yo mate, your board's up-side-down.

"At least it's not as busy as last night!"

Moving Van.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

So I take it you'd rather I didn't go on another surfing weekend...

Early Americans found it easier to settle the west coast, where natives were, like, whatever, dude.

'I never know whether I should get good gloves that I'll lose after three runs, or cheap gloves that'll fall apart after five runs.'

Bunny Slope

'All day and not one wave...can life possibly get any worse?'

Amateurs de vin...

If you see something, buy something.

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

We're looking for a few greedy people.

A shark ventriloquist.

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu.

'Yes, this is my shortboard: Why?'

"I did not listen carefully, and, yes, the menu options had changed..."

"Surfers are thrill seekers son, so we just gave them an extra thrill: they'll be talking about their encounter with us for years..."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe the simplest modes of travel are the best.

A woman glides down a water slide

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

The Underground Police

"I told you it was too soon to ride the subway."

The end is rear!

Wind Surfing

A blue collar cow.

Inner City Surf Bums.

"Now imagine how good that would look completely sweated through on the twenty-third street subway platform."