Suburb Surfer Gifts

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Moving Van.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Baby on board.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Dow's up!"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'No surf?'

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'Another nice wave.'

Sex Section in the Library

Oh Darling, you've got a bit of surfer stuck in you teeth.

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

La Jolla School of Advanced Music Graduate Frank Kettleknyper played a mello cello.

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

Card shark

Large Very Fresh Eggs

Snowman dreaming of surfing.

'Busy weekend ahead?'

'You beached again, didn't you?'

"Good lord - not another Surfing Safari!"

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"He said the only thing he wanted for his birthday was a wave machine."

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

"The only thing that stops a bad shark is a good shark."

Surfer and the Whale

'Your wave.'

"If they're swimming they're seafood. If they're on surfboards they're not."

"My turn."

"Hey, catch me a wave."

"At least it's not as busy as last night!"