Section Surfer Gifts

Sex Section in the Library

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Moses on the web

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

"You've got computer-breath."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I don't know who you are!"

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

How I met your mother

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

'Another nice wave.'

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

Remote control wars.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'No surf?'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."