Swing Gifts

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

"This never happened."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Swinging

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

It can be taken up at any age....

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"The boogie woogie bugle cat of Company B"

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

Swing

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'You must all promise never to divulge what you are about to see.'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'Where's my horse?'

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

For sale - Used only Once.

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Automatic swing machine

A bride and a groom on a swing

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

Thursday is the new Friday

Stone henge swing.

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

"Jenkins and Caldwell, take a lap – and that goes for anyone else I catch swing dancing."