Swimming Supporter Gifts

"You're collecting for the local swimming pool? - Here, this is for you...!"

'My feet are killing me.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

100k Desert Crawl

A man runs on the water from a shark.

"Come on, be a sport! The cliffs are lined with kids and bus-loads of retirees: let's give them a breaching display to remember!"

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

Why bluefin tuna look so worried.

Lapdogs

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Football Blockers.

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

"Do you have any athletic tape?"

Rip Taylor Tide

Football merchandising - 1953.

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

Fidel Castro as a lifeguard.

"Three falls, a knockout, a submission, or a note from your mother...."

No petting in the pool!

A couple of polar bears enjoy their new swimming pool - a refurbished igloo . . .

Referee trimming boxer's armpit hair.