Swimming Struggle Survivor Pillows

"I can't figure out why the 'dog paddle' isn't working for you."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

'How's the water, dear?'

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'He did it for us.'

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

Lapdogs

Swim meet - sharks vs. humans

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

"I'm beached body ready."

No petting in the pool!

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"

"Well guys,how was the hockey game?"

Love Hate Computer Relationship

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

Motor Channel Crossing.

Thank you for not drowning.

'Not that sort of pool party.'

'I always thought he was in great shape. I mean he swam constantly.'

"I rescue swimmers. He rescues phones dropped by swimmers."

"You're collecting for the local swimming pool? - Here, this is for you...!"

'I hope you don't think I invited you swimming just because you have a couple of webbed toes.'

Drowning Man Thrown A Book.

"Ignore that sign. It's okay."

"Be still and know that I am cod."