Swimming Enthusiast Pillows

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Swimmers Ready to Dive.

Lapdogs

"OK...this is not gonna work."

'To achieve anything you must start at the bottom and work upwards.'

"I rescue swimmers. He rescues phones dropped by swimmers."

90% of Mel lies beneath the surface

'I always thought he was in great shape. I mean he swam constantly.'

Michael Phelps just kicked the doggie doo out of us.

'That lifeguard's a real no-it-all!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Impressive certificate. Thanks, that's for the 100 metres backstroke.'

"Oh no! Chlorine drinkers."

Mermaid is participating in a swim competition

Motor Channel Crossing.

'Our eggs should stay nice and warm in the hot sand: Let's go for a swim...'

'The secret of my success? Well, I assume swimming freestyle gives me an advantage...'

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

"Ignore that sign. It's okay."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Bring your own inflatable.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

Swimming Prankster

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

Lifesaver!

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

A family playing in the sea

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'