Swimming Aficionados Pillows

'Four million years and an amphibian crammed ashore and developed into homosapiens so I see no point whatsover to go back!'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'We can't go in... we've only one 'pair of trunks' between us!'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

A man runs on the water from a shark.

'Miss Wislson please bring me my spear gun.'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Mankini - One size fits all.

'Do you make fish cakes? It's his birthday!'

Lapdogs

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'Now that's a sexy looking bathing suit!'

Lawyer, lawyer! Get out of the water!

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

"I spilled my drink."

"How come more men seem to get into difficulty when we're on life guard duty?"

Rip Taylor Tide

No petting in the pool!

A couple of polar bears enjoy their new swimming pool - a refurbished igloo . . .

Yes, well, when you're grown up and king, your castle can have an indoor heated moat.

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

Bathing suit.

'When I said shock the pool, I meant with chlorine!'

"It's not as deep as it looks - that's only a baby giraffe."

"Honestly, you could never make me fly coach again after this." - Flying Fish

Bill Shankland

"I am underwhelmed by your so-called 'Infinity Pool."

"Yep, that's water retention."

'Today, students, we will discuss lameness in fish.'

'Here's why it's so cheap. It's dry clean only.'

Motor Channel Crossing.

I saw you at the beach yesterday in your new bikini!

'He's Dyslexic.'