Reluctant Swimmer Pillows

'How's the water, dear?'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

The Boys of Indian Summer

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

"You've been saying we're getting an inground pool since we got married, and I gave up."

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"I can't figure out why the 'dog paddle' isn't working for you."

"I'm beached body ready."

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'He stated jogging to work.'

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

'Ah! This is the life...' - 'No phones. No computers. No hassle.' - 'All I have to do is lie out in the sun...' - '...and fret endlessly about skin cancer.'

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

Trying to get kids into sports

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

'This getting fit is killing me.'

"I bet you're mighty relieved the hosepipe ban has finally en...dnnn...glug...glug!"

"Ed's practicing his stand up routine. No, he's not a comedian...he's just standing up!"

"No, I'm not interested in a free ski weekend. Please take me off your call list."

"Back from your jog already? I thought you were going to go for the burn."

'I went jogging this morning - actually got as far as the front gate!'

Man settled down to a book is irritated that he has a bite