Reluctant Exerciser Pillows

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'I don't exercise religiously.'

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

"Ed's practicing his stand up routine. No, he's not a comedian...he's just standing up!"

"My weight loss program is a long living room and a broken remote."

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"It's true: no more burpees."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'How's the water, dear?'

The Boys of Indian Summer

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"That's how you're getting your steps in, putting your fitness tracker on the dog?"

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

The Sedentary Dead.

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

'Oh stop complaining, if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!'

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'