Swimming Struggle Survivor Gifts

"I can't figure out why the 'dog paddle' isn't working for you."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

'How's the water, dear?'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'He did it for us.'

Lapdogs

Swim meet - sharks vs. humans

'The swimmers line up for this, the final heat, and surprise, surprise, It's the dog paddle.'

"I'm beached body ready."

No petting in the pool!

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

Motor Channel Crossing.

"Everyone has to start somewhere."

"Well guys,how was the hockey game?"

Love Hate Computer Relationship

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"

Thank you for not drowning.

'Not that sort of pool party.'

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

Drowning Man Thrown A Book.

"Ignore that sign. It's okay."

"Be still and know that I am cod."

"I rescue swimmers. He rescues phones dropped by swimmers."

"You're collecting for the local swimming pool? - Here, this is for you...!"

'I always thought he was in great shape. I mean he swam constantly.'

'I hope you don't think I invited you swimming just because you have a couple of webbed toes.'