Spill Survivor Pillows

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

And today's winner of a special place in hell is...coffee cup lids that don't fit properly...

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'Oh, that's just great. It's not bad enough I'm stranded here. Now I'm trapped in an invisible box.'

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

A man with a rake on a desert island

"Sell my stock in ACME cruise lines, then get me out of here!"

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

Desert Island Bagpipes

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

'I need something to spill.'

'What luck! Just the doctor I was going to refer you to.'

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

"Oh no!"

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Sling

"I just feel like a cliche."

"I can't figure out why the 'dog paddle' isn't working for you."

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

External Revenue Service

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

Bl**dy climate change...

"Shut up, you're driving me crazy! Shut up, you're driving me crazy! Shut up ..."

"Have you been tested?"