Drink Spill Survivor Pillows

"Why - do I LOOK absorbent?"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"Sell my stock in ACME cruise lines, then get me out of here!"

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

A man with a rake on a desert island

Cats in a bar asking for 'hair of the dog'.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'Don't complain now: You were quite happy eating fermented fruit with your friends last night!'

Desert Island Bagpipes

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"I just feel like a cliche."

'What luck! Just the doctor I was going to refer you to.'

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

Chillaxing!

"Yes ... concierge? Where am I?"

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

External Revenue Service

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

"Honestly, I'm as sad as you are that your mother didn't make it."

"Shut up, you're driving me crazy! Shut up, you're driving me crazy! Shut up ..."

Waking up with a terrible hangover, Joe took a minute to remember what he'd done last night...he spent the rest of his life trying to forget.

Bl**dy climate change...