Drink Spill Survivor Mugs

"Why - do I LOOK absorbent?"

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'Oh, that's just great. It's not bad enough I'm stranded here. Now I'm trapped in an invisible box.'

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

A man with a rake on a desert island

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"Sell my stock in ACME cruise lines, then get me out of here!"

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

Cats in a bar asking for 'hair of the dog'.

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

'Don't complain now: You were quite happy eating fermented fruit with your friends last night!'

Desert Island Bagpipes

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"I just feel like a cliche."

'What luck! Just the doctor I was going to refer you to.'

Chillaxing!

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

"Yes ... concierge? Where am I?"

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

External Revenue Service

"Shut up, you're driving me crazy! Shut up, you're driving me crazy! Shut up ..."

Waking up with a terrible hangover, Joe took a minute to remember what he'd done last night...he spent the rest of his life trying to forget.

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

Bl**dy climate change...

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'