Quake Survivor Pillows

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

"Sell my stock in ACME cruise lines, then get me out of here!"

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

A man with a rake on a desert island

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

'I see the name they've called this winter storm, is certainly more civil than what you called it.'

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

Desert Island Bagpipes

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

"I just feel like a cliche."

'What luck! Just the doctor I was going to refer you to.'

'My God! Isn't rain wonderful?'

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

External Revenue Service

"I hate sand traps."

Offering a golfer a spade.

Bl**dy climate change...