Quake Survivor T-Shirts

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'Hole in one!!!!'

'You brought my slippers?... What kind of rescue dog are you?!'

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

God in the bunker.

'Oh, that's just great. It's not bad enough I'm stranded here. Now I'm trapped in an invisible box.'

A man with a rake on a desert island

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

"Sell my stock in ACME cruise lines, then get me out of here!"

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

Desert Island Bagpipes

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

'I see the name they've called this winter storm, is certainly more civil than what you called it.'

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

'My God! Isn't rain wonderful?'

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

Dept. of Seismology. The foundation is fully funding my San Andreas research! They're generous to a fault!

"I just feel like a cliche."

'What luck! Just the doctor I was going to refer you to.'

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

Offering a golfer a spade.

External Revenue Service

"I hate sand traps."

I tripped just now over by your bathroom. If I took this to court, I could get six figures. But I'll settle out of court for a lifetime supply of free coffee and donuts. We just had a huge earthquake. If you fell, it was probably because of that. You guys failed to think ahead and put in bouncy floors. Get out.

10/03/17 14:03