Shock Survivor Pillows

By subjecting himself to increasingly higher jolts of electricity over many months, Tom hoped to become immune to lightning strikes while playing golf.

Tiptoeing around voltometers.

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

Sporting maladies.

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

"I see you do all your own stunts."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'You've got a broken finger.'

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Gymnast tangled up.

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

'It's an old baseball injury.'

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

Trees and hurricanes

"Well guys,how was the hockey game?"

'I'll be able to play the piano in 2 days? Well I couldn't before the accident!'

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'He saved his dog before he saved me during the hurricane!'

"You been here long?"

Green Shoots

"I'm getting a slight draught through the double glazing, you fitted for me."