Sticker Shock Survivor Pillows

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

Honest Voting Stickers

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

Practice random turn signals & senseless acts of braking.

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

Uniformed but Passionate

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

"Honestly, I'm as sad as you are that your mother didn't make it."

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

"Ma'am, are you aware of how many braggy, preachy bumper stickers you've got plastered on the back of your car?"

'Is there any particular reason your middle name is stinky?'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

Bumper Stickers: 'God is my co-pilot', 'My co-pilot has a map'

Message in a Bottle: 'If your reading this my hair do is already ruined.'

'You're trying to hail a taxi?... Are you insane? You'll never get one at this time of day!'

'LAND!'

"I'd say my number-one issue is getting off the island, and then, after that, probably health care."

"I'm sorry, but I believe I'm now way out of your network."

By subjecting himself to increasingly higher jolts of electricity over many months, Tom hoped to become immune to lightning strikes while playing golf.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of bee keeping are the hardest.'

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

Tiptoeing around voltometers.

"Do you have any idea how small the print is on your bumper sticker?"

'Whose darn idea were these brand stickers?'

In the embarrassment cemetery

Man scraping the snow off his car greets neighbour who is scrapping off advertisements.

'No need for that. I owe taxes, they'll find us!'

A man on deserted island watches barrels of coconuts drift towards his already coconut laden dwelling place.