Crash Survivor Pillows

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Barbeque Casualty.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

Sporting maladies.

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'You've got a broken finger.'

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

Sling

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Traffic Jam.

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

Road Construction Blues.

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

'It's an old baseball injury.'

Taxi in congestion - Thank you for not getting out and walking

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'I'll be able to play the piano in 2 days? Well I couldn't before the accident!'

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

Espresso Lanes