Crash Survivor T-Shirts

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'You may now come in off the ledge. The test of the NASDAQ plummeting is over.'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Gary turns 40.

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Sporting maladies.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'You've got a broken finger.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

Traffic Jam.

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

Sling

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

Road Construction Blues.

'It's an old baseball injury.'

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

Taxi in congestion - Thank you for not getting out and walking

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rhino appeared and charged our vehicle...

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"Yes, I was a little late again, but it isn't like I have any control over the traffic or how many daily puzzles keep coming out!"