Survivalists With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Man in desert sees a man selling gloves, knee pads and shoes.

"Go deep."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"This better be high tide."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

Town follows the snow plough.

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'Oh wait, I've got a good one! I spy with my little eye.'

'I bet it's nice and warm inside!'

Stay in school.

"Will you quit listening to your ten all-time favorite albums and help me find some food!"

Look! A penny!

Woman on desert island reads message she finds in a bottle: 'It's an ad for a diet club.'

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

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