Survival Shows Gifts

"Don't you think you're taking these programmes a bit too seriously?"

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"At least my putting has improved."

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

That Bear Grylls eats some EVIL crap, I'm telling you!

"Oh boy! My favorite show. 'Survivor: Babysitter Edition.'"

'Hey, I know! -- We can dig a basement and wait till it floods!'

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'How long shall we wait until we start eating each other?'

"Karl, act like a stuffed porcupine!"

Desert Island golf

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

Vultures wait on a desert island.

Time Management Seminar Schedule.

Koool sunglasses, only $10-.

"Dull again. If you want to eat, quit using it to shave your legs."

"...I was just wondering Earl, could you do me another favor during high tide?"

Survivor Game

'Do you have any diet?'

Desert Island with quicksand.

'I think I've solved the food problem, Al.'

'Tell me, how are coconuts and coconuts biproducts doing on the commodities market?'

Castaway uses a solar panel to watch TV.

'Are you boycotting any products at the moment?'

"Come in guys....the water is so warm."