Surveillance Sleuths Gifts

'...But in case God misses something...'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

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'You've been killing files again.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The Modern Godot

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

'Gimme all your cache!'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Spy Satellite

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Secret Service Dogs

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

Two men converse secretively

"This isn't just another paper airplane. This one carries a camera and microphone."

What security flaw?

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

Moby the Private Dick.

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'