Security Sleuths Gifts

Secret Service Dogs

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

Clickbait

"So who is this First pet?"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The Modern Godot

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Gimme all your cache!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Two men converse secretively

What security flaw?

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."