Safety Sleuths Gifts

Drug Side-Effects Research Division

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Clickbait

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

The Modern Godot

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Secret Service Dogs

Optician and the PI.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

What security flaw?

'Do I have a story to tell about Novox Genlab!'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'Who's your Daddy?'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

"He fought like hell."

'Bravo Professor, you stumbled upon the one fact that makes sense of it all. Unfortunately humanity is not permitted to know that the Universe was designed by a committee of ducks.'

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

Advanced Password Hint

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

'And I think you'll be very impressed with the new network security system we just installed!'