Safety Sleuths Pillows

Drug Side-Effects Research Division

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Clickbait

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Optician and the PI.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Secret Service Dogs

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

'Do I have a story to tell about Novox Genlab!'

What security flaw?

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

'Who's your Daddy?'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

Advanced Password Hint

"Have you ever noticed how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?"

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

'Bravo Professor, you stumbled upon the one fact that makes sense of it all. Unfortunately humanity is not permitted to know that the Universe was designed by a committee of ducks.'

"He fought like hell."

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

'And I think you'll be very impressed with the new network security system we just installed!'

Sherlock Holmes.