Crime Sleuths Pillows

"Why don't you lot concentrate on catching some real criminals? - Like motorists?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

A boy acting suspiciously

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

The Modern Godot

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

'Where my balls go?'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Secret Service Dogs

Optician and the PI.

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

"I was just trying to kick-start the economy. Guess I kicked too hard."

A detective and a dog are tracing footsteps and dog prints.

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

'Do I have a story to tell about Novox Genlab!'

"No, that looks nothing like him. Were you even listening to me? Young man, are you on drugs?"

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

"He opened his email and saw the attachment from an unknown source. His hand slowly reached to click on the paper clip. He had no idea what horror awaited him. . ."

New York City Santa with huge bag hails cab.

'Who's your Daddy?'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

'Take your time. Do any of these look like the shadowy figure you saw at the crime scene?'

"Well Inspector - that little trap you set seems to have worked!"

'Ugh. Every single day.'

'Bravo Professor, you stumbled upon the one fact that makes sense of it all. Unfortunately humanity is not permitted to know that the Universe was designed by a committee of ducks.'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

Crime - Punishment.