Safety Sitch Sleuth Pillows

"Next time you have a hand warmer in your backpack, just say so. People get rattled when you say you're packing heat."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Clickbait

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Experts through the ages.

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

The Modern Godot

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Gimme all your cache!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Secret Service Dogs

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

What security flaw?

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Two men converse secretively

'Tech support says your anti-virus software did not catch the problem since it is not a virus. It's a bacterium.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

Gone Phishing

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'