Safety Detective Gifts

'Please note this perfume should not be used by pregnant women, women who may be pregnant or those taking an Monoaimine Oxidase Inhibitor.'

Health and safety man.

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

Time Out For Teddy

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Nuclear waste.

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Crash Test Dummy Blues

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

The hall of bad ideas.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Wear a helmet