Safety Detective Gifts

'Please note this perfume should not be used by pregnant women, women who may be pregnant or those taking an Monoaimine Oxidase Inhibitor.'

Health and safety man.

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Time Out For Teddy

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Nuclear waste.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Wear a helmet

The hall of bad ideas.

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '