Safety Sleuth Gifts

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"There's one or two snagging issues."

"I think someone's been tampering with my brakes!"

Reporter #3: can.

'Look...this place is a health hazard!'

'Again a guy drowned with a lead contaminated doll made in China...'

Fire Escape - A large flame of Fire trying to escape from two Office Workers chasing it with Fire Extinguisher and Fire Hose in hand.

"There's something peculiar about all this..."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

Clickbait

"I'm a brilliant stalker and love photography, so I thought: why not?"

The Modern Godot

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

Secret Service Dogs

Optician and the PI.

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

What security flaw?

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

Gone Phishing

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

Advanced Password Hint

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."