Surveillance Sleuth Gifts

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"People are scum."

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Open Season

Six Degrees of Depradation

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

'Phil, will you check out our last conversation on the security video? I can't for the life of me remember why I came back here.'

Water-cooler chat's not secret

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

'That surveillance camera...your wife put it in.'

The Modern Godot

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

$1: Family Secrets

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Clickbait

'You've been killing files again.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Spy Satellite

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

Secret Service Dogs

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

Two men converse secretively

What security flaw?

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'