Surveillance Society Sleuth Gifts

How's our intelligence gathering?

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

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'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

The Modern Godot

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

'Gimme all your cache!'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Secret Service Dogs

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

What security flaw?

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

Two men converse secretively

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

"You mean you leaked his password because he uses my name as his password instead of yours?"

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

Advanced Password Hint

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'