Social Sleuth Gifts

"We're not leaving until I find every book we ever gave them."

"If you hate Mandy so much, why do you follow her?"

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

"Bummer, I guess your brilliance stopped compensating for your complete lack of social skills."

'I learn a lot at these social events. I'm an I.R.S. Auditor.'

Woman says to friend in bar: "Oh come on, just because I google someone ? it doesn't have to MEAN anything."

$1: Family Secrets

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

Hidden Facebook Features

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Facebook in the Boxing Ring

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

Fakebook

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Tell me something about yourself that I haven't Googled.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

You're right, Jenkins, the numbers don't lie. Get me some that do.

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

Conflicting Reports

Social Media When People Have A Perfect Life/Reality TV When People Have A Screwed Up Life

'I let Facebook and My-Space do most of the leg work. I just park outside houses wearing a trilby.'

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

Modern Warfare

"I googled you and I'm not interested."

Reporter at a crime scene.

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

"But I'm hot on the trail of my Google doppelgänger."