Social Sleuth Pillows

"We're not leaving until I find every book we ever gave them."

"If you hate Mandy so much, why do you follow her?"

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

"Bummer, I guess your brilliance stopped compensating for your complete lack of social skills."

'I learn a lot at these social events. I'm an I.R.S. Auditor.'

$1: Family Secrets

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

Hidden Facebook Features

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

Conflicting Reports

Social Media When People Have A Perfect Life/Reality TV When People Have A Screwed Up Life

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

"But I'm hot on the trail of my Google doppelgänger."

"I googled you and I'm not interested."

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

Reporter #2: plant.

Reporter at a crime scene.

Modern Warfare

"Don't worry, daddy already knows and likes you. He's hacked all your social media accounts."

'Yeah, I still use old fashion Facebook. I gotta monitor what my parents are up to!'