Social Media Sleuth Pillows

"And, just like that, Facebook is giving us ads for used cars, optometrists, and couples counselling."

'I see that you have two sisters and you like the Beatles. I predict that you will graduate in 2012...'

'This is so sudden. I never had a chance to check you out on Facebook, Google and Myspace.'

"Once we wean them off their obsession with looking at their phones, we'll release them back into the wild."

Investigative journalism today: Reporter looks at 'TwitFace' social network site.

"Don't worry, daddy already knows and likes you. He's hacked all your social media accounts."

"Before I came I googled your name....did you hold up a convenience store in 2003?"

"I see there's a photo of you riding a goat in the nude drinking from a beer can attached to your hat. For future reference, employers now check social media."

"Finished with the health questionnaire? Good. Now the doctor will corroborate your answers with the data we've collected on you from social media."

'Tell me something about yourself that I haven't Googled.'

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

"According to his Twitter feed he's really not looking forward to seeing you."

Facebook in the Boxing Ring

'Can my own tweets be used against me?'

"Anyone else get a friend request from a Colonel Sanders?"

"Simon!!! What on earth have you tweeted this time!?"

"Hmph! Your uploaded photos tell a different story."

"Dead birds don't tweet, Joey."

Hidden Facebook Features

"Why do you insist on double-checking every piece of my gossip on social media?"

"I googled you and I'm not interested."

"This is her mum, the woman you were slagging off on facebook."

Modern Warfare

"The whole 'naughty, nice' thing was a lot easier to work out before we had to look at all their Facebook and Instagram feeds."

Facebook Privacy

"Sure you've got references, but if you don't have any social media accounts we can snoop in on, forget it."

"He doesn't parrot what you say but he does retweet everything in his feed."

She unfriended me on Facebook.

"Good news! We found her on social media! By the way, she has 459 friends."

"An excellent CV but there seem to be a FEW discrepancies with your social media feed for August 2016."

Fakebook

OMG, I think that's the guy who was stalking my Instagram

"But I'm hot on the trail of my Google doppelgänger."

"I saw photos of you at some party and you looked drunk or worse! Don't be stupid." "Stop checking up on me on social media, it's annoying!! Get a life, Dad!"

"Your nose was so much smaller in your Tinder photo."