Social Media Detective Pillows

'I noticed you sent an e-mail to your friend Nancy saying that I was nosy.'

"I'm going to find out who's [naughty emoji] and [nice emoji]."

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'If you have any complaints, can you come to me first before you post them on myspace.com?'

"Nice fake Facebook account, Stacy! If you're scared, get a dog!"

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Alternative Medicine

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

The new Physics

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Hidden Facebook Features

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

The Darknet starts right here.

"To whom am I speaking? Your real personality or the one you have online?"

"Extra! Extra! Stream all about it! It’s extra, so you may not need it, especially if you looked at your phone recently."

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."

"What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?" "What's the word I'm looking for?"

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

Social Media When People Have A Perfect Life/Reality TV When People Have A Screwed Up Life

"You've always been a poor listener Harold."

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"I already know he's gone — it's been on the Internet."

Information and Still don't get it.

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"Hello?"