Social Dynamics Detective Pillows

'Unconscious ' person on street (part of psychology experiment)

"You'll always be a second tier friend to me."

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"Call me!"

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

"God help us, it's that guy."

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"I want to know why when I'm in a room people ignore me."

Larry David

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Poplar Trees/Not very Poplar Trees.

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

'Now that everybody can talk, I keep worrying about what people will say.'

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

"In the old days people with small dicks needed big cars. Today they write hate comments against Greta Thunberg."

Abstraction and recognition

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"Let's not discuss it."

'You know, sometimes I think we don't even speak the same body language.'

"Oh, God, it's the Herefords, pretend we don't see them."

'So what if people are watching you. Aren't you also looking at them?'

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

"Who invented Cinnamon-Raisin again?"

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

Shy Man at Party

"Do you think everyone hangs out with me because I'm cool and funny, or because I'm God."

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

"Have you considered that your anger has something to do with the company you keep?"