Social Signals Sleuth Pillows

"He's not good at reading body language."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

Hidden Facebook Features

You Are Here...Your Nearest Wi-FI Signal Is Here.

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Facebook in the Boxing Ring

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

Last Reception for 200 Miles.

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

Fakebook

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."

'Tell me something about yourself that I haven't Googled.'

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

Social Media When People Have A Perfect Life/Reality TV When People Have A Screwed Up Life

'Hello?...still there?...yeah, sorry, I just had to move to get a better signal.'

Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.

"I can't understand why you're getting no signal down here? There's plenty of Hotspots!"

Phone Signal Problems: "Can you hear me now?"

"Luckily, these new life rafts come with a phone, charger and a cell tower."

'I let Facebook and My-Space do most of the leg work. I just park outside houses wearing a trilby.'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Did you research and verify before posting this?"

Modern Warfare

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'