Cybersecurity Sleuths Gifts

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"So who is this First pet?"

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Google gets thousands of requests each day to erase links. Most of them seem to go back to my website."

The Modern Godot

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."