Internet Sleuths Gifts

'Are you telling me my symptoms don't match my internet diagnosis?'

"What I lack in formal education I make up for in dexterity using search engines."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Alternative Medicine

"Careful! He knows computers."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"So who is this First pet?"

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

The new Physics

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Computer Crimes

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"I only told a few friends."

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'