Surveillance Sleuths T-Shirts

'...But in case God misses something...'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

Clickbait

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'You've been killing files again.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

The Modern Godot

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

'Gimme all your cache!'

Spy Satellite

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

Secret Service Dogs

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Diary of a DNA Cop

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

Moby the Private Dick.

What security flaw?

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

Two men converse secretively

"This isn't just another paper airplane. This one carries a camera and microphone."

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

'These disks contain backups of all my financial records in 25 different software programs. . . I need to make a deposit to your computer.'