Support Staff Gifts

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

Dyslexia supprot staff

"I'm sorry, but out rapid response team is backlogged for months."

Man kicking door down.

"He's not comfortable with confrontation...So he tries to find forms of 'feedback' that he finds less stressful."

"I'm in the x-ray support systems business, which contrary to popular belief, isn't a whole bundle of laughs."

"Sorry, Pete, but Bill is now my 'go-to' guy. Until further notice, you're my 'anybody-but' guy."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

"Do you mean to say that we have both been on hold for half an hour?"

"Damn that call waiting!"

Not much money, glory, or praise

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Busy office.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."