Support Workers Gifts

'I don't argue that you have a strong case and normally we would want to offer you the services of a support worker. . . but we just don't have the staff!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

"Sorry, Pete, but Bill is now my 'go-to' guy. Until further notice, you're my 'anybody-but' guy."

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

I'd rather be phishing.

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"And this is my life support system."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.

Amnesia Support Group: Meeting Today!

"I love group...however, I don't feel that everyone honors my right to express my fears."

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

Guide Dogs

Hot Line

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

"I must be getting on tech-support's nerves, because they now answer by saying, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT NOW?!"

"Switch it off and switch it on again, that will be $85."

"It all started with my addiction to crackers, then crackers and cheese, which led to crackers, cheese and wine! But thanks to AA meetings, I've turned my life around. . ."

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

"In my country I was a taxi dispatcher."

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'